Evolution is the process of natural development. Whether a dog or a car, we’re permanently trying to boost on the previous model. Most progress is gradual, interrupted once in some time with a major breakthrough, like walking on two legs or ABS brakes.
So just how could it be that the human race, which is actually top of the food chain, still needs the most effective element of a year when expecting? Especially if you think about that individuals usually only produce one, rather than litter, let alone eggs by the hundreds. Haven’t we advanced sufficiently by the 21st century to manage to cut this down to less than half a year?
Evidently we have not, which raises the question, why don’t you? It would be easy to put the blame on the women. Pregnancy is their job after all. But since they got this all-important role since the men couldn’t be trusted with it, we’re hardly in a position to point the finger.
So what’s the clear answer? There really can only be one logical conclusion. Pregnancy and childbirth take nine months because that’s how long people need to choose a name. Let’s face it. Other species of animals have the birth process over with much faster because they do not even bother, unless they’re a Disney character.
Our history indicates us that it can take quite a while to produce a sensible name, so a baby may as well remain in the womb until we do. Actually, there are numerous examples that suggest nine months still isn’t good enough and we have to extend it to a year. Just look at all the youngsters inventively called Junior, or Bob Smith III. It’s an admission that if three-quarters of a year, this is the best they could manage.
The initial hurdle is relatives. This is particularly true for younger parents, who are apt to have more of them alive, all of whom want to be immortalized by their grandchild inheriting their name. So unless you’re having quadruplets, you’ve got an issue حوامل.You can’t even get away with giving your son or daughter all four names, because only one can come first and top billing counts for everything. Next is the situation of the specific names grandparents have a tendency to have. It appears children’s names were a low priority when faced with the industrial revolution and the odd World War. Who would like to end up calling their child Algernon or Gertrude?
Another problem is the wife’s side of the family. Whether or not a woman took her husband’s name in matrimony, she will most likely want her family name to survive, therefore it becomes a child’s middle name, even when it isn’t one at all. Just ask Mary Carbunkle Jones.
The only exception is if these people are extremely rich. If calling your daughter Ethelred Stinkpants Smith puts her to the top of the inheritance heap, then so be it.
Next comes the issue of pets. Not naming them, as that’s easy and they do not care anyway. The only rule of thumb is to remember that maybe you are in the park one day shouting at your pet, so names like “Fatty” and “Loser” are not good choices.
The issue is that you can’t name your son or daughter following a pet. You might just like the name Max, but if an uncle had a Doberman called Max, it’s just not likely to happen. Charlie is a great selection for either gender — except if someone had a pet of the exact same designation that got run over. It’s as if by choosing that name, you’re condemning your son or daughter to a fate of jumping out of a window, chasing a bird and getting hit with a truck.
If anything, choosing a name must be easier now. Today, just about anything is acceptable. In the event that you can’t find a real name you like, then think about a situation, a country or a continent? Even a food-group will do. But despite the infinite choice, it’s amazing how many parents mess up. They don’t think what sort of child’s name may be changed, shortened or generally twisted into something that will scar their psyche for life. How hard was school for famous brands Jeremy Attric, Philip Ness and Frank Ukwit? Who knows, perhaps if he hadn’t been called Adolf, things would have been different.